The Ketamine Chronicles

 Tuesday was session #26.  I will likely have one more session before the end of the year.  When I began this journey I had no idea how long it would last and I guess I did not imagine it lasting this long.  I thought I would know one way or the other by now if it was working.  But there has been a lot of unexpected on this path for me and well let’s just say the last few months of my life have required the Spravato to do a lot of heavy lifting.  Maybe more than should be expected of a drug.  Any drug.  A friend of mine said that if he had to endure half of what I have been thru the last few months he would have had a breakdown by now so maybe that is an indicator that the drug is actually working.  Maybe not as grand as I hoped for, but it is keeping me at least upright and putting one foot in front of the other.  Maybe that is all I can ask for.  That and the little gifts of wisdom along the way. Today I woke up to my usual doom...

Well clearly I gave up on my promise to journal this journey at every step.  So here is what you missed over the last 3 months.  So only days after my last post my husband entered a very unexpected leave from his job.  An unpaid leave which was a blow to us financially and at the time we had no clue how long it would last.  13 weeks.  He is still not back to work, but we are hoping for mid-December as he is now recovering from surgery #3.  This has been a tragic year for both of us.  In addition, my career is in the absolute toilet.  I mean it isn’t like it hasn’t been but being without my salary AND his at the same time again feels strangely like we are reliving the pandemic but doing that alone.  All of that aside, I was able to pick up several more unexpected sessions with Spravato due to my husband being out of work.  He is my driver, so it was helpful to at least get in some extra sessions.  Gotta look at the bright side ...