The Ketamine Chronicles

I find these entries hard to write sometimes.  I avoid them.  Part of me thinks that if anyone reads them they will think I am absolutely crazy and part of me just struggles to put it down on paper because it forces me to think about everything. But I know that putting it down, the good and the bad, the weird and the factual, is important for my own healing.  My words on paper are always a way I have purged what is in my head and that must continue for my own personal growth. If you have read along this far in the blog a sincere thanks.  I know it is not always easy to take a tiny peak into the inner workings of my brain. I have been thinking about something I read saying that the layers of mucus in your nose can shield you from viruses etc entering your body thru those mucus membranes.  I started to wonder if my very thick mucus could be possibly blocking some of the spravato from entering my system.  I also read that the medicine is intended to enter th...

I think I finally found a groove with these treatments.  And it only took 2 months. LOL.  Session 14 (or Bonus session 2 for those of us keeping track) went well.  Not well in a calm relaxing way but well in an epiphany sense which is really all I seek in these “trips”.  First of all, I went into it feeling very peaceful somehow.  I am not sure how because I had to deal with the ridiculousness of ANOTHER car repair and its cost and still fighting with the dr’s office over Jym’s surgery.  In addition when I went to meditate my ipod was dead and then I ended up trying to field email replies etc and never really got to write or anything prior.  It has been a battle with everyone lately and so to sit there in the chair on the bad side of the room and feel at peace was really a win for me.  I was sitting there on the side of the room I don’t care for and the last cubicle farthest from the bathroom but my playlist was good and I went over my checkli...

I took a week off from the treatments because of Jym’s second surgery.  We have run out of days for him to take off so something had to be sacrificed.  That is one very difficult part of this.  I wish there was a clinic near my home so I could easily get to treatments.  It has been a huge commitment of time and gas. I did, however, have both a therapy apt and a psychiatrist apt to discuss my plans moving forward.  I have decided to table the lozenges not because I don’t want to try them but because the cost of surgeries, car repairs and a new AC unit has seen an output of almost $25,000 over the last month so it has been quite a hit.  I just simply cannot continue to bleed money especially over things that are an experiment for me.  Maybe in the future I will be able to revisit that. I have to say that both appointments went well for me. First I was able to discuss my situation with menopause and my therapist actually recommended HRT which is my ne...