The Ketamine Chronicles

Bonus Spravato #1.  After last week I was not at all sure what to expect and I tried really hard to expect nothing but let’s face it I am not good at that at all.  I have decided on 6 bonus treatments and then go onward from there.  At this point with Jym’s surgeries and our car repairs and now the blown AC unit to the tune of $7000 I am going to hold on the lozenges for now.  It is just not a sound financial choice for me.  But I can continue with the Spravato at a relatively reasonable out of pocket cost.  In fact after a short conversation with a fellow patient in the waiting room I learned her copay for the med was $25 when mine is $10 so I obviously have good insurance when it comes to this.  I am grateful for that and despite not having mind blowing results this is at least something and I hope it works going forward for me and I am able to extract what I need from it.  I have also recently become aware that Oregon has become the first sta...

Once you have chosen your clinic and the Ketamine option that works for you, after you have considered your support system and cleared your hurdles for insurance coverage or self payment, you will be preparing yourself for the treatment itself.  These are the tips I have for making the most of those sessions and getting everything you can out of them in the most comfortable way possible. Discuss anti-nausea options with your provider. I view this as getting on a cruise for the first time.  Even if you aren’t certain if you will get sick or not, I recommend taking the anti-nausea precautions when available.  My clinic easily supplied Zofran and other drugs for nausea preemptively and I should have always made sure I took them.  The times I tried to go without I ended up sick either in the treatment or afterward unnecessarily.  That takes away from the treatment and moves your focus onto being sick instead of healing.  I was doing Spravato which carries th...

The second part of the ‘Road Map” on this Ketamine journey is CHOOSING YOUR TREATMENT PATH. There are a various number of ways for you to ingest Ketamine for this therapy and being aware of the choices and their pros and cons will help you figure out which one is right for you.  With all of these treatments you should not drive, make important decisions or participate in dangerous activity the day of treatment.  All in-clinic treatments require you to fast prior to the session. The choice to do so is ultimately yours but as referenced by the numerous piles of vomit in the parking garage I can safely say you will regret NOT fasting if you become ill. Prior to beginning any treatment you will be required by the clinic to undergo a psychiatric evaluation (this can cost $325 if you do not have insurance, my insurance provided at a $20 copay) as well as a talk therapy session with a therapist at their clinic (at the time of my treatment this was NOT covered by my insurance and ...

I wanted to create a road map post for anyone considering this approach to their own depression/anxiety/PTSD treatment.  There was a lot I had to learn as I went along and I think the information could really help others to get a better response to their own therapy and at the very least make the process easier and more comfortable.  These are all of the things I wish I knew before I started. I have broken it down into 3 blog posts labeled ‘Road Map’. This first one is something I feel individuals need to consider before starting treatment. SUPPORT. This is the one thing I very much underestimated the need for.  In fact, when I started I felt that if I could have driven myself to these treatments and not involved anyone else I absolutely would have.  But support in many forms is absolutely necessary, in my opinion, for a positive outcome. Be very aware of where that support will come from before you begin the treatments. The first kind of support you need i...

I knew today was going to be hard.  This is session #12 which is not only the last treatment in the protocol but also my favorite number so I put a lot of pressure on this one.  I felt like it could be the “ONE” that changes everything. Maybe that is just like me to put too much pressure on something and be disappointed when it doesn’t manifest. It is also coming on a week when I have even more stress than last week.  My car is not fixed and the insurance has yet to approve the supplement after it being torn apart for a week now.  Jym has had no relief from his pain since surgery unless you count the 6-year expired Oxy I had leftover from my hysterectomy nightmare which has at least been allowing him to urinate.  After calling the office a good 7 times last week and getting NO appointment on the books for his stent removal they now say (when Jym called) that they don’t have any appointments available for another week.  Ya think?  That is why I called...

I am writing this pre-treatment in the hour of solitude I have granted myself to be able to reset, meditate and ruminate on healing.  It is crucial that I learn to allow myself this time of reflection and contemplation to center and calibrate my mind to endure the treatment. My mind needs to be able to take in the drug and allow it to heal the broken edges.  I am resistant to it in those hours when I sit in that chair.  I can feel it.  I wall it off. I have never been someone who has allowed healing fully and wholly. I don’t know why. Today during my half hour meditation I tried to imagine myself in a bubble shutting out all around me, the noises and sounds.  I froze everything outside the bubble so there was no distraction.  This is what I need to do in that treatment room.  Put myself in that bubble and quiet the noise outside of it, both the physical noise of the clinic and the mental noise of the chaos of life. Today is going to be particularly...

I was very hopeful for today after I got off work early yesterday and was able to get a lot of my usual panic things done before my ketamine today.  But driving there we heard a terrible noise at the same intersection where the car dropped off the tow truck a few weeks ago.  I am pretty sure it is my bumper continuing to separate from the car as I try to limp it by to get to the day I can repair it.  What is worse is that Jym’s car now needs repair and the next day we can do it is the day before his surgery and the same day I planned to fix MY car so now I have that stress and trying to navigate that. I try to block this crap out of my mind but it piles up and I start to spiral. We arrive at the clinic and Jym realizes he forgot his phone.  We were able to use my tracker to see it was at the house but he didn’t want to drive an hour back to get it, so I gave him mine.  This stressed me out as now I did not have a way to know what time it was, and I also did no...