Road Map - The Need for Support

I wanted to create a road map post for anyone considering this approach to their own depression/anxiety/PTSD treatment.  There was a lot I had to learn as I went along and I think the information could really help others to get a better response to their own therapy and at the very least make the process easier and more comfortable.  These are all of the things I wish I knew before I started.

I have broken it down into 3 blog posts labeled ‘Road Map’. This first one is something I feel individuals need to consider before starting treatment.

SUPPORT.

This is the one thing I very much underestimated the need for.  In fact, when I started I felt that if I could have driven myself to these treatments and not involved anyone else I absolutely would have.  But support in many forms is absolutely necessary, in my opinion, for a positive outcome.

Be very aware of where that support will come from before you begin the treatments.

The first kind of support you need is from your clinic.  I went to Revitalizing Infusions in Kissimmee, Florida and I cannot say enough about the staff there.  From the psychiatrist Dr Sedney, to Caitlin who has the job of looking after me medically while I am in the chair, to the nurses and even the front desk staff who know my name and always treat me with the utmost care.  I am so thankful that I am able to feel safe and nurtured in that environment by those providing my care.  Seek that out.  From my first phone call with them I felt heard and cared for. 

The second kind of support you need is from your loved ones.  This is the one I had shockingly the most difficult time with.  On one hand I had the support of people not in my inner circle and the support of family but the hardest part for me was the way I was dismissed by a few close friends who I suspect did not agree with my “radical” (FDA approved) approach to my own care.  It was hurtful to be rejected by people very close to me at the time when I needed the support the most.  If you are seeking this treatment it is not because you have a touch of melancholy.  It’s because you desire to take your own life and when nothing else has worked you have finally qualified for this treatment.  To not have at least basic support in those moments is probably one of the most difficult parts of this journey.  I would puke 1000 times over if it meant I had a full line up of people behind me to lean on.  But I have not.  And I think that may be having a large effect on my mental state.  Especially when I struggle for the treatment to work. 

I am so grateful, however, for the love of my husband and my brothers who have been a real cheering squad for me.  But also friends, both close in my circle and far outside of it who have reached out to me, in messages, emails, texts, and phone calls to support me.  In fact, I think it is surprising how much support is out there even from places you would not expect.  So if you don’t have a close group of friends or family who can stand by you in this know that there is a whole world of support out there if you seek it.  Try to focus on those people and not those who can’t bring themselves to be there for you.

I would say that is the hardest part, finding a way past the people in your life who can’t support you, to the ones who will.  Most people are not going to put their entire journey or even a part of it online for the world to see like I have so my heart goes out to anyone who seeks support and has none.  If that is you, then please do not hesitate to reach out to me.  I know the value of it and will always openly provide it to others as they have to me.

The third kind of support you will need is physical.  If you choose to enter the Spravato protocol, for example, it means 2 weekly sessions for 4 weeks and then 1 session a week for 4 weeks.  That is 12 times you will require someone to drive you to the clinic, sign you out and drive you home.  Although some clinics do allow Uber if you feel you are close enough to do that, for me that is a questionable means of transport after this treatment.  I will say that I was never unaware of my situation after a session like I thought I might be so yes you can interact with an uber driver and tell them where you need to go and for safety they do make you provide your uber booking to the clinic so they keep track of that but for me getting in a car with a total stranger after this is not ideal in any way.  Nor is boarding a train or other form of transportation alone. You are groggy, sometimes nauseous.  You are not 100%.  I am honestly grateful that my husband and I were able to work this out with both his work schedule and mine so that we could get this accomplished with the help of a close friend when I was in a bind once.  I honestly do not know how most people manage this with jobs.  I live almost an hour from the clinic which makes for a large commitment of time for my driver. My clinic is currently only open Monday – Friday as well so that adds to the difficulty in many cases.  There are clinics that are open on the weekends so seek that out if it is something you require.  I hope that mine will begin to add weekend hours for others at some point.  So many more could benefit. 

In the beginning when you are considering Ketamine as a treatment, you will undervalue the need for support, but I will say that it is a crucial backbone of your treatment.  Seek it out before you begin and know who your support is coming from and who it is not.  Do not attempt, like I did, to find out mid-stream.  If you know who will and will not support you, especially in your most crucial inner circle of friends and family, it will save you a lot of heartache when you are at your most vulnerable.  Pay close attention to the cues.  If someone ignores your repeated attempts to discuss this or blows you off when you are in the planning stages, I can guarantee it will not improve along the way.  You need to find a way to shut it out and seek others who will.  If you figure out how to do that, please let me know. LOL.  I am apparently still bitter and struggling with it. 

If someone can’t find support for you in the worst of times, even if they don’t necessarily agree or take the time to understand your path (because let’s face it, any lack of support here is sheer ignorance of the process and the medicine) then maybe they don’t deserve to stand there in the good times.  I guess that is for me to wrestle with and to figure out which doors to close tightly behind me.  Maybe you will need to do the same.  Maybe that is part of the process of healing here as well.  To lighten your life with those who are beacons to you in these times and not those offering more darkness and judgement.